Can it be true? Is my website really online? It is! Actually, it's not. My old site is still up as I write this, BUT I did finally update my server settings and it WILL be live within 48 hours. Isn't it funny how something so small can seem like such a monumental task? It wasn't hard to get this thing up and running, except that it was. Updating my settings was just the last step in a weirdly emotional process.
First, there was a few years ago when I wanted to GET a website. I'd owned my domain name for years (had to jump on sheridanearle.com before my friend, Sheridan Earle, over in the UK bought it first. I've got my eye on you, Dan), but never knew what I wanted to do with it. I used to keep a blog (blogspot.sheridanstodolist.com) and I've wanted to get back into it, but per my last blog post, I'm a procrastinator. We can go more into that later. Anyway, I wanted a website and just didn't get around to it.
Then I managed to have a friend who designs websites give me a good deal on creating mine. Great! I still didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew I had to just start doing something. So we had a pleasant transaction and he created it for me. If you ever need a website created, I've got some good hook ups for you.
So, I had a website. But it was really what I wanted it to be. It was good! I just didn't know what I wanted when I started that one and I still am figuring it out, so I knew I kind of had to start this one on my own.
Now I spent an embarrassingly long time putting this beauty together. It's nothing crazy and honestly, as it looks now, didn't actually take that long. It was all the outtakes, the second guesses, the fiddling around with things that just weren't working... that's where the real time-suck happens. It's also where the learning happens. Making mistakes, scrapping plans and starting over, releasing expectations. It's not the fun part, not while you're in it, and it's easy to just walk away from thinking it's not working. The universal joke is, of course, that that is when it's all happening.
This website in its current iteration has more or less looked this way for the past couple months, aside from minor tweaks here and there. The last step, of actually getting it up and live online, the literal easiest part of it all, still took me some time. Because I'm nervous of the feedback I might get. Or the lack of feedback. I have to be a little vulnerable to put myself out there on here, with this website I created, that I wrote, that I'll continue writing on. And who wants to be vulnerable? It's scary. But what new thing doesn't start off a little scary?
It being the Halloween season, this sounds like a perfect time to be a little scared. And a perfect time to launch my Frankenstein of a website: part personal blog, part professional portfolio, part art project.
Thank you for reading and being with me as I get this journey started. I'm not sure where I'm going with it just yet, but we'll figure it out. And maybe we'll have some fun on the way.